Thomas Rafter, Donor

Not a day went by where he didn't crack a joke or tell a story...

Tom had the best sense of humor of anyone I have ever known, and it was a little unusual to boot. Each Christmas, he tried to make something special as a birthday gift for his daughter, Nicole, and I was able to help with one: A cigar tube of toenail clippings with a $100 bill inside.

One of his favorite one-liners was: “you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led”. Not a day went by where he didn’t crack a joke or tell a story

We began dating in 1988. Shortly after, he told me about his shared boat with 2 other guys in California. The boat had no motors, so on weekends it was free. We would lounge around or nap on the deck, walk around on the dock, and maybe have lunch at the boat concession stand. One time he asked me to bring a spare pair of shorts as we were going out on the dinghy to putter about. Well, being on the water generally means a person might get wet, as we both did. We had dry shorts back on the boat, but neither of us remembered to bring spare pair of undies.  Around dinner we drove to Queen Mary for dinner. We drove up to the lady that managed parking and he said to her ” I bet you didn’t know we don’t have any underwear on”.  After a huge laugh she quipped “You white people is crazy!” And that set us off on an extremely pleasant evening. One winter he found a dead frozen lizard on our back patio, and he put it in a small plastic box for his amusement. I embellished it with a pair of green beads for eyes.

When he got noticeably ill in early October, he asked me to take him to the Emergency Room.  I didn’t know he had breathing problems for the past 20+ years. He only saw doctors when he deemed ER was the right call.  I think they kept him for 10 -16 days. His pleural cavity was full of fluid, and they needed to keep him for the fluid to be removed. Finally, he was discharged with a small legion of doctor visits scheduled and it was wonderful that he had NO pain throughout all this.